trigger warning talk of death and drugs. 😦
I canNOT believe how close-minded people are sometimes. On the dinner table, we were discussing the topic of Cory Monteith’s death, and my father suddenly says, “I don’t get why you said it was ‘so sad’ that he died. He died because of drugs.”
Being the usual annoyed “liberal” girl that I was, I said, “It’s not that,” and my mother rushed to my defense, surprisingly, saying, “He’s dead. Still sad, regardless of how,” in Filipino. I agreed, expanding on the argument: “He checked himself into rehab. He tried to get better – ” only to have my father cut me off and say, “you’re thinking in the Western way again.”
And I stopped, because I realized there was no arguing with him. But it’s upsetting to me that apparently compassion for the deceased is a Western concept – and what disgusted and appalled me about my father’s point of view is his association of acts with persons. Sure, Cory may have been addicted (and addiction is an ugly, ugly thing, I wasn’t – and am not – a drug use apologetic), but that shouldn’t discredit his validity as a human person, nor should he be treated, suddenly, as “evil.” This is a disease, and that is a concept my father didn’t understand – and this unfair association of acts or vices to persons is exactly what my father does all the time: “don’t befriend him, he drinks,” (and note: “drinks,” not even “an alcoholic,”) – “don’t trust ____, she smokes,”
I still cannot believe that my father thinks this way. He’s normally alright with everything else, and yet he still has a very backwards view on things like these.
He even backed up his claim by saying, “Oh, you know, we’ve got people in one of our office branches steal things. They got a drug test done, and guess what? They were all druggies!”
And apparently, their (only) solution was to purge the office branch of those “damn addicts,” parasites of society as they were.
My father never told me if they were sent to rehab after, but I’ve got a feeling they weren’t. My dad – his family – they’re businessmen, not social workers. As far as they were concerned, the concern is the stealing, not the employees.
These people who need support are precisely the types denied it because judgments disregard compassion and value their own “moralities.” Which just goes to show that a “moral” person does not necessarily mean a just one, or a kind one.
This is a cold society we live in. It’s hard to fathom how close to home this coldness is.