it takes so long to disregard regret

because regret highlights the most painful, the most embarrassing, the most heartbreaking experiences that man has had at that point in time.

it takes so long for me to disregard regret because i cannot conform to what regret tells me to do. i’m a fool who makes mistakes. i’m a fool so sunken in the pleasures of this world that to follow the advice of regret would seem asinine, crazy. to follow regret’s advice would mean to forget myself, for just a little while.

i’m selfish. i can’t forget myself.

but at the same time – i’m selfish; i can forget myself.

the irony of it all matters – and it matters a lot. because i’m so self-obsessed [can’t forget about myself], i don’t eat [i can forget about myself]. because i’m so self-conscious [can’t forget about myself], i trash my own opinions and conform to social norms [i can forget about myself]. it goes on and on and on.

but then – maybe regret could have been avoided in the first place if i learned to accept regret, and learn.

gosh, this is confusing.

what did i tell ya, pseudo-intellectual.

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About hookedonoxygen

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